If you aren’t having your expectations met, it might be because you haven’t negotiated them.
It’s easy to fall into this “non-negotiation trap.”
That’s because we usually have expectations of others based on our assumptions – which are rooted in the way they behaved in the past. And, that’s why we expect them to do the same today or in the future.
In other words, often, we have non-negotiated expectations which we don’t think we have to negotiate because we assume nothing has changed since we last expected someone to do something.
You know what this sounds like…
“You should know what I want. Look how long you’ve been around me.”
Here’s why this statement is a trap.
It assumes that nothing has changed in this person’s life since the last time you had a conversation with them about what you expected them to do.
However, because human beings never stop evolving, it’s risky to make this assumption.
In fact, when we do, it often gets us into trouble.
That’s because people’s reality can change day-to-day and hour-to-hour.
This change includes ideas, opinions, attitudes, wants, needs, desires, ambitions, goals, and so much more.
If we don’t consider these evolving changes and take them into account before we expect someone to do something, it means we have non-negotiated expectations.
So, if you want to increase the probability of getting your expectations met, you can do this by making sure that your expectation is “negotiated”, based on the other person’s most up-to-date reality and information.
To read more about assumptions in the workplace and how to make sure they don’t trip you up at work, you might enjoy this blog.